(Originally written around March/2018)
I wanted to share a bit of what’s been in my heart lately:
I don’t know why God grants miracles/blessings to some at certain times and not to others. I don’t know why he gives us what we need/want sometimes and other times lets us struggle. but I can say with confidence that I have experienced both and I can also say with confidence that God is a good and loving God so there must be a good and loving reason. When my kids were babies/toddlers, I struggled. I cried out to God every day for help but I often felt like I was drowning and defeated. God gave me little glimpses of himself and I knew he was always there with me but I wanted to be rescued and for some reason he didn’t rescue me. I was meant to go through that difficult time.
And for some reason The Lord has chosen to give me a huge blessing at this time of my life. The Father gives his children good gifts and I have been given some of the best. And I didn’t even ask for them! I can’t describe how blessed I feel that God would choose to give me such peace, joy and strength right now. It is supernatural and God given because anyone who knows me knows that I would normally be an overwhelmed, stressed, crying mess right now. But Jesus has chosen to give me a glimpse of what it looks like to walk in fullness with Him. What it’s suppose to be like when your circumstances don’t dictate how you feel.
That doesn’t mean life is perfect when we follow Him, it just means when the storm hits, He’s the anchor to have. He’s the only one that knows what wave is coming next, so I want Him to be guiding the boat! It’s a crazy feeling, and not easily understood but I’m so grateful for where I am right now. Right where I’m suppose to be.